FAQ's updated June 7, 2008!

Suggested Readings for Your Ceremony: (back to top)

Important Questions to Ask Your Wedding Officiant Before You Book The Wedding
  ...and Rev. Su's Answers! (back to top)

I am ordained by a Seminary in California, and according to North Carolina law, I may legally marry any male-female couple who are 18 or older, and are not first cousins or closer relations.

I have officiated weddings since my ordainment in October 2007.

I have about 5 weddings or handfastings scheduled for the summer of 2008, but I can perform as many as 100 weddings in a calendar year.  

I have studied liturgy for about 10 years, culminating in my professional training at Our Lady of Enchantment Seminary.  I am Associate Pastor at Loxley Abbey Church, and am also active in Church of the Earth of Raleigh. I perform group services for both organizations.

I will travel to your special location.  My honorariums include 30 miles travel (one-way) and I generally charge 50 cents per mile beyond that for each one-way trip.  This mileage fee applies to the Consultation, Rehearsal, and Ceremony.  

 

Exact overage fees may be calculated by using Google Maps to find the actual distance from my home base in Raleigh to your ceremony/rehearsal site(s). 

I may also be able to schedule ceremonies in the Rochester NY, Emporia VA, Chesapeake VA and St. Petersburg FL areas, if plane fare is provided by the wedding party/couple.

I specialize in civil or spiritual wedding (and non-legal renewal, commitment and handfasting services) for interfaith, unchurched or New Age couples.  New Age also includes Neopagan traditions. A "civil" ceremony is completely non-religious in nature.  

 

These are tasteful and can be performed at various "levels" of obvious Neopagan content.  

 

I also perform other life-stage blessings, such as baby/belly/Mommy-Daddy blessings, home blessings and cleansings, grandparenthood, and retirement blessings.  I will also perform hospital visits upon request.

 

I am just happy to help people celebrate the stages of their lives!

Handfasting and commitment ceremonies are NOT legal unions in North Carolina or any part of the United States of America.  They are meaningful to the couple and to their circle of family and friends, but they do not provide child custody rights, hospital visitation rights, property inheritance rights, or any other legal right afforded by "marriage."

 

These are alternatives for couples who choose not to become legally united, or for whom a legal union is not an option at this time.  These rights CAN be granted by legal contract through organizations such as Family, LLC (please visit their site for more information.)

 

A handfasting is popular among New Age couples by tradition.  A traditional handfasting is for a year and a day, although the term can be set to any length.  It is a spiritual marriage, or a trial marriage or betrothal period, and either ends at the end of the term (with a Handparting) or there is a legal marriage ceremony.  DURING THE HANDFASTING PERIOD, NO CHILDREN SHOULD BE CONCEIVED.

I have no objection to being photographed at your ceremony.  I only ask that you label the pictures "Rev. Su Windsong."  And, hey, if you take a picture with me with the happy couple, may I please have a copy for my portfolio? ;-)

Yes. I do require that we meet prior to any rehearsal or couples ceremony and you can either fill out the "Couples Questionnaire" beforehand and bring it, or we will fill it out at the consultation appointment.  

 

I want to check you out, and you'll want to check me out!  It's just safer for all of us, and it's good business.  No hard feelings.  I also want to make sure you are not joining your lives together frivolously.  It gives some lead time for you.  

 

At this consultation, we will also go over the order of the service.

I have a ceremony worksheet that we go over at the consultation (and follow-ups via e-mail/US-mail, if needed.)  It includes the order of service, and is place to say, omit this, tweak this, etc.  Because there are a gazillion ceremony options, it's hard to put out a representative sample.  I will work on providing this on my web site in the future.  Please expect to be at our consultation for about 90 minutes.

 

I also have a generic civil ceremony ready for elopements and other spontaneous weddings.

I have set rates (called honorariums) and mileage charges described at the top of this page.  I would expect out-of-state locations to include paid plane fare to your site in addition to my regular honorarium.  

Since not everyone has a rehearsal (I didn't) I have made that a separate charge.  I welcome tips for service above and beyond, and if you are in desperate financial straits, please be honest with me.  While, yes, I am trying to earn a living through my religious vocation, I'm not a jerk ;-)  

Unless prepaid, I do not provide any props or materials for your ceremony or unity rites (rings, candles, sands, wine, cord, etc.) and I may not be able to provide these things for you, since I would have to order them.

 

Please see my "Acceptable Methods of Payment" explanation.

Please keep in mind that an "Officiant" does not necessarily receive a salary from another source, like a church. 
An Officiant's fee for services is his or her income.  

It takes an average of 10 hours of work per ceremony:
- consultations, scheduling, emails, phone calls
- sometimes research for a particular ceremony (definitely the benefit of tons of research over the years + education / training)
- ceremony modifications, last minute changes, re-approvals
- ceremony practice time (not including the rehearsal!)
- travel time + mileage to and from rehearsal and ceremony
- paperwork, paperwork... paperwork. ..overhead costs (including advertising)
- the time lost with their own significant others on the weekends, when significant others are at home

Here's the most important part:
1. Reverend Su is a licensed, ordained professional without which there would be no sacred blessing, or no legal marriage.
2. Hiring the Officiant is the least expensive cost in the typical wedding, yet the only part that is really required.
You can have a wedding without flowers or centerpieces; you can't have a marriage without an Officiant.

Be careful where you cut your corners! :-)

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