Weddings, Vow Renewals, Handfastings, and
Planning Resources
Meeting with Reverend Su & Important Paperwork
I do require a meeting in person, if at all possible, to get to know you both, and see how you are with each other. This meeting should take 45-90 minutes, depending on how much of the paperwork is filled out beforehand :-) THIS MEETING IS FREE.
I also require tham you each separately fill out the Couples Questionnaire which will tell me a little more about you, your views on married life, and how you are accepted within each other's families. You may either email them to me before our consultation meeting (email to revsu@ladywindsong.com), or bring them with you already filled out.
If you don't have time to fill it out beforehand, that's okay, too; just add about 15 minutes to the expected meeting length. It is very helpful to me if you each fill out the questionnaire separately...don't share answers until you're done! <LOL> I expect honesty, not perfection! :-)
We can meet just about anywhere I can get a cup of tea. I prefer to meet clients in public places. I have a list of some meeting places (mostly coffee shops) that I know have a table for us to sit at, and a copy center nearby. If there is no copy shop, or you want to meet in your home, then I'll mail the finished paperwork to you later that week.
In some cases, I will do the initial consultation and other planning tasks by phone, but this is a rare exception. If you haven't already gotten it, here is the custom ceremony planning worksheet that we will use during the consultation. Feel free to fill out as much of it as you can before we meet. I will have the full-text of all the options available at our meeting. I generally get the first draft to you about a month before your ceremony, if possible. You can download worksheets for Custom, Civil and Elopment ceremonies from the menu at the top left.
It also saves up time if your download, read and fill out the contract for my services. It includes my current fees and terms. Nutshell: $275 for a full package with custom ceremony, $195 for custom ceremony with no rehearsal, $160 for ceremonies using the sample civil ceremony, and $120 for the no frills, no choices "Elopement" ceremony.
Part of the contract and worksheets is the choice of what Rev Su will wear. That really depends on what the bride is wearing. Sorry, guys, everything needs to match the bride. I found a great web site that explains the different lengths of dresses.
IF YOU DECIDE TO HIRE ME, AN $80 NON-REFUNDABLE DOWNPAYMENT IS DUE AT THE END OF THE CONSULTATION. I WILL ACCEPT CASH, CHECK OR MONEY ORDER O N L Y .
For Christian Couples
I need to be upfront with you - I am not a Christian minister. Having said that, I want to reassure you that I do believe in a loving Creator, and although my visualization of Divinity may be different than some other people's, I am on a path of Light. I still have a positive relationship with Jesus, in fact.
Because I am not a Chrisitan minister, it would be dishonest for me to use phrases such as "in the name of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." But it is okay as long as I am just prompting you, such as in your vows or during the ring exchange. Likewise with any prayers that invoke Christ. You are MORE THAN WELCOME to have people who are special to you read any passage or prayer you wish! In fact, it can be very meaningful, both for you and for the reader/prayer leader.
I have married other Christian couples before without any discomfort, and the guests loved my ceremony.
During our consultation, you may be confused by parts of the ceremony that
are not from the Christian tradition. They are, of course, optional, but
let me briefly explain them for you.
Cleansing the Ritual Space - This simply means I chant a prayer to clear out negative vibes from the place where you will be married. I chant: Cum velle locus defaeco. Malum sententia hic peribunt. This is Latin for "With my Will, I cleanse this place. Bad thoughts perish here." I most often do this before most of the guests arrive.
Creating Sacred Space - This means I will define a sacred space in the shape of a circle, which is a shape of inclusion and wholeness. This make it holy ground for as long as I leave the circle unbroken there. I sometimes do this during the ceremony, but I often prepare the space before ost of the guests arrive.
Don't worry, people can cross the boundary of the circle, such as the bridal party and the wedding couple, without breaking the circle and making it "unsacred". People who can sense energies may notice a small amount of power, which comes from me and the salt or water or herbs that I use to inscribe the circle on the ground. I chant: Orbis in nomine Matris et Patris sanctus appello, which means "In the name of the Mother and the Father I call this circle sactified."
Elemental Quarter Calls - In my spiritual tradition, and many others, there are angels, guardians or powers that guide certain aspects of Creation. They are part of Divinity, sort of like roles we all play in our lives of mother, sister, teacher, employee, etc. In most Western traditions, these are Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit, and they are associated with the compass directions. Calling on them to be present at your wedding simply means you want all of Creation to witness and bless your union.
There are many ways to invite these aspects of Divinity. I have some poems that can be read, or candles an be silently lit with prayerful intention. It's up to you.
Handfasting - This is a very old ceremony of unity. I describe it in detail elsewhere on my web site. It is performed in both non-Christian and Catholic ceremonies. You may remember it from the movie, Braveheart. It can be very moving.
Cakes & Ale - This is a fancy way of saying food and drink. Much like the Christian sacrament of Communion or Eucharist, this is a way to bring Divinity directly into your bodies through blessed food and drink. The food and drink can take any shape you want, such as cookies and puch, or it can be bread and wine. It's up to you.
This is a truly religious rite that is similar in many traditions, so if you are not particularly religious, or do not want your wedding to seem overly so, you probably would not be comfortable doing this. Even non-Chrisitians I have married have felt uncomfortable with revealing their faith so overtly during what is commonly thought of as a public ceremony, but I still offer it to all my couples. Once again I must say, it's really up to you.
Please contact me if you have ANY questions whatsoever. I enjoy theological dialogue and hold nothing against any religion that follows a Path of Light. Email me, Yahoo message me, or call me anytime. I will happily answer your questions to the best of my ability :-)
Honorariums and Fees
I have set rates called honorariums, and mileage charges. I also can provide various ceremony accessories, and these are a separate charge depending on what is purchased. The mileage charge is described above in "Would you come to my location to do a ceremony?" You will find that I am a relatively cheap wedding officiant for all that you get!
Reservation fee at Consultation $80 Rehearsal Honorarium $80 Ceremony Honorarium $115 This price is for a FULLY CUSTOMIZED ceremony Reschedule Fee $80 Mileage fee per mile beyond my home territory radius (30 miles) $1 each
I would expect out-of-state locations to include paid round-trip plane fare and accomodations in addition to my regular honorarium, in place of the mileage fee.
Since not everyone has a wedding rehearsal (I didn't) I have made that a
separate charge. I welcome tips for service above and beyond, and
if you are in desperate financial straits, please be honest with me. While,
yes, I earn a living through my religious vocation, I'm not a jerk ;-)
Please note that for a partially-customized ceremony with the required consultation, my fee is only $160. You are limited to the text in the sample civil ceremony. Rehearsal and Reschedule honorariums are the same, as is any applicable mileage charge.
I also have a special "elopement rate" for
same-week weddings that take place in my home garden. Please CALL me if this
applies to you. 919-649-1320. This rate only applies if you do not want to
make any choices about your ceremony.
Unless prepaid, I do not provide any props or materials for your ceremony or unity rites (rings, candles, sands, wine, cord, etc.) and I may not be able to provide these things for you on short notice, since I have to order them beforehand.
Please see my "Acceptable Methods of Payment" explanation.
No Hard Feelings...
So you look through my site and you decide that, for whatever, reason, you'd rather go with someone else. I understand. Please don't just ignore me, however, especially if I've sent you an email. Yes, this is a business (as well as a delight!) but I am a real person, and I deserve to know that you have decided to go with someone else. Thanks for your courtesy!
I am a member of the American Association of Wedding Officiants. We have a free referral service. North Carolina is part of "Region 4".
I also have a list
of Triangle area independent clergy. They are great people from many
different spiritual traditions. Please let them know you got their name
from me.