Congratulations on your engagement!
Merry meet! Reverend Su Windsong is a duly ordained New Age minister with a foundation in early Christian teachings. She is also an experienced Wedding Officiant. She can help you craft the perfect ceremony for your perfect day!
Elopement * at my home $100 * no text choices
Elopement * $120 ** limited text choices
Handfasting * $140
Civil Non-Religious ** $160
Custom $195
Rehearsal $80
Mileage $1 for each mile beyond 30 from my home
Reverend Su would be delighted to include personal vows, prayers and elements in your ceremony!
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Planning Your Wedding, Handfasting or Elopement
Ceremony Accessories • Ceremony Locations • For Christian Couples • Ceremony FeesCouples Questionnaire • Marriage License • Our Consultation
How to Make a Braid • Other Wedding Vendors
Parts of the Ceremony • Planning Resources
Questions to Ask Your Officiant • Recorded Ceremony Music • Referrals
Souvenir Marriage Certificates • Testimonials about Rev. Su • What is a Handfasting?
Getting Your Marriage License
In North Carolina, a marriage license is required if you are an unmarried man and an unmarried woman who are not first cousins or closer relations who wish to become legally married.
Both parties must appear in person with a driver's license and Social Security card as proof of both age and identity. If you don't have one of those, ask your local Register of Deeds what you can bring instead. There are special considerations if you are younger than 21 or have been previously divorced.
You can download the 2009 Wake County marriage license brochure here. Or follow these hyperlinks to the Wake County ROD or Durham County ROD. Most urban counties allow you to "apply" online. But that doesn't mean you don't have to appear in person! Oh, and you don't have to be a North Carolina resident to get a marriage certificate in any NC county.
Also, you must bring $60 cash with you, and the license in only good for two months. I used to gripe about the sixty bucks until I found out that half of it goes to a fund for preventing domestic violence. That's pretty cool.
Don't Forget, The Ceremony Is the Only Required Part
There are many parts to a marriage ceremony. These parts are called the wedding ceremony order. Many of them can be included in a non-legal handfasting, vow renewal or commitment ceremony as well. The portions in bold are the only portions required for a legal ceremony...there are only three!
- Processional (silently or with a song)
- Statement of Intent (tells why are we gathered here)
- Publishing the Banns ("speak now...")
- Statement of Free Consent and Fidelity ("do you take this man...")
- Presentation or Bride and/or Groom by Family or Friends ("who gives this... to be married?")
- Presentation of Unity Symbols (the couple or the mothers can present condles, sands, waters, etc. now or later. If it's the moms, do it now so they can just enjoy the rest of the service!)
- Light Candle(s) for Ancestors and/or Absent Loved Ones
- Special Readings (I have a full-text library of wedding readings!)
- Special Songs
- Homily or Short Sermon (sometimes known as the Admonition of the Couple. My choices are all short.)
- Statement of Faith (I have a non-denominational creed available for this.)
- Vows to the Children
- Vows of the Partners
- Ring Exchange (with or without an introduction or blessing, and there are LOTS more options for this)
- Other Symbols of Unity: Mingle different colored sands, waters, or beverages; Unity Candle; Family Unity Candle; Share Clear Water; Lasso; Handfasting, or whatever you can imagine!
- Heritage Prayer ("bestow upon this couple... children...", there is also one that says please do not grant us children until we're ready!)
- Charge of the Congregation ("will you help them in their promises?")
- Pronouncement ("I now pronounce you...")
- Prayers for the Newlyweds
- Cakes and Ale (Spiritual food & drink like Communion or the Eucharist)
- Passing of the Peace (everyone in attendance shakes hands with or hugs the people nearby)
- Benediction (final blessing)
- Broom Jumping (luck, fertility and sharing of household tasks)
- First Kiss! (should this be marked as required? LOL)
- Recessional (silently or with a song, if no music, everyone claps!)
Here's a basic non-religious ceremony with a few options.
New Age portions of a wedding or handfasting service include: Cleansing the Space, Creating Sacred Circle Space, and Honoring the Quarters. These rites can be included before or after the Statement of Intent.
Here is a ceremony planning worksheet you can download! It is a Word form, so you can make some of your choices and bring it with you to your consultation with me to see the full text of each option. (If it tells you that it is password protected, just click "Read Only" and save it with a new file name.)
Ceremony Accessories • Ceremony Locations • For Christian Couples • Ceremony FeesCouples Questionnaire • Marriage License • Our Consultation
How to Make a Braid • Other Wedding Vendors
Parts of the Ceremony • Planning Resources
Questions to Ask Your Officiant • Recorded Ceremony Music • Referrals
Souvenir Marriage Certificates • Testimonials about Rev. Su • What is a Handfasting?
Meeting with Reverend Su & Important Paperwork
I do require a meeting in person to get to know you both, and see how you are with each other. This meeting should take 45-90 minutes, depending on how much of the paperwork is filled out beforehand :-)
I also require tham you each separately fill out the Couples Questionnaire which will tell me a little more about you, your views on married life, and how you are accepted within each other's families. You may either email them to me before our consultation meeting (revsu@ladywindsong.com), or bring them with you already filled out. If you don't have time to fill it out beforehand, that's okay, too, just add about 15 minutes to the expected meeting length. It is very helpful to me if you each fill out the questionnaire separately...don't share answers until you're done! <LOL> I expect honesty, not perfection! :-)
We can meet just about anywhere I can get a cup of tea. I prefer to meet clients in public places. I have a list of meeting places (mostly coffee shops) that I know have a table for us to sit at, and a copy place nearby just in case. If there is no copy place, or you want to meet in your home, then I'll mail the finished paperwork to you later that week.
In some cases, I will do the initial consultation and other planning tasks by phone, but this is a rare exception. If you haven't already gotten it, here is the ceremony planning worksheet that we will use during the consultation. Feel free to fill out as much of it as you can before we meet. I will have the full-text of all the options available at our meeting. I generally get the first draft to you within 30 days.
It also saves up time if your download, read and fill out the contract for my services. It includes my current fees and terms. Nutshell: $275 for a full package with custom ceremony, $195 for custom ceremony with no rehearsal, $160 for short-notice "elopements" using the sample civil ceremony.
Ceremony Accessories • Ceremony Locations • For Christian Couples • Ceremony FeesCouples Questionnaire • Marriage License • Our Consultation
How to Make a Braid • Other Wedding Vendors
Parts of the Ceremony • Planning Resources
Questions to Ask Your Officiant • Recorded Ceremony Music • Referrals
Souvenir Marriage Certificates • Testimonials about Rev. Su • What is a Handfasting?
Other Wedding Vendors I'd Recommend
Once you've set the date, you need to arrange for all the things and people you might want to include, like flowers, clothing, hair, friends to stand up there with you, reception venue, food, cake, band, DJ, photographer... yes, it's quite a list.
I've got links to some people I've worked with in the past, and I think they might be great for your wedding.
Flowers & Gifts
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Planners
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Locations
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DJ/Emcee
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Musicians
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Apparel
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Some event planning sites where I am also listed:
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Get Me to the <insert location here> on Time...
You may decide not to hold your wedding in a church, a private home, or a banquet hall. There are dozens of public and private parks and gardens that can be secured for your wedding and/or reception.
I have compiled a list of those in the Raleigh, NC area that I could find information on. I have also begun adding venues that I think are cool, even though they are outside my free mileage zone, and so I tell you how much extra it would be for me to go there (the mileage fee). You can download the parks and gardens list.
Music for Your Ceremony
Many of my clients hold their wedding in a park or private home. And often, the budget simple can't stretch far enough to include live music at the ceremony. That's just fine; afterall, I didn't have music at my wedding. But there are certain songs that some people expect to hear, and if they are absent, well, it just doesn't seem..."wedding-y."
To help out those who are celebrating their wedding without live music, but still want the traditional (or not so traditional) sounds, I have compiled a CD of ceremony music that I am happy to bring with me. It has many styles of music from Celtic to Rock to Classical. Yes, I do have the "Here Comes the Bride" song as performed by Queen for the cult classic movie, Flash Gordon. And yes, it has been used! You can download the list of the ceremony songs I have.
Ceremony Accessories • Ceremony Locations • For Christian Couples • Ceremony FeesCouples Questionnaire • Marriage License • Our Consultation
How to Make a Braid • Other Wedding Vendors
Parts of the Ceremony • Planning Resources
Questions to Ask Your Officiant • Recorded Ceremony Music • Referrals
Souvenir Marriage Certificates • Testimonials about Rev. Su • What is a Handfasting?
For Christian Couples
I need to be upfront with you - I am not a Christian minister. Having said that, I want to reassure you that I do believe in a loving Creator, and although my visualization of Divinity may be different than some other people's, I am on a path of Light. I still have a positive relationship with Jesus, in fact.
Because I am not a Chrisitan minister, it would be dishonest for me to use phrases such as "in the name of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit" unless I am just prompting you, such as in your vows or during the ring exchange. Likewise with any prayers that invoke Christ. You are MORE THAN WELCOME, however, to have people who are special to you read any passage or prayer you wish! In fact, it can be very meaningful, both for you and for the reader/prayer leader.
I have married other Christian couples before without any discomfort, and the guests loved my ceremony.
During our consultation, you may be confused by parts of the ceremony that are not from the Christian tradition. They are, of course, optional, but let me briefly explain them for you.
Cleansing the Ritual Space - This simply means I chant a prayer to clear out negative vibes from the place where you will be married. I chant: Cum velle locus defaeco. Malum sententia hic peribunt. This is Latin for "With my Will, I cleanse this place. Bad thoughts perish here." I most often do this before most of the guests arrive.
Creating Sacred Space - This means I will define a sacred space in the shape of a circle, which is a shape of inclusion and wholeness. This make it holy ground for as long as I leave the circle unbroken there. I sometimes do this during the ceremony, but I often prepare the space before ost of the guests arrive.
Don't worry, people can cross the boundary of the circle, such as the bridal party and the wedding couple, without breaking the circle and making it "unsacred". People who can sense energies may notice a small amount of power, which comes from me and the salt or water or herbs that I use to inscribe the circle on the ground. I chant: Orbis in nomine Matris et Patris sanctus appello, which means "In the name of the Mother and the Father I call this circle sactified."
Elemental Quarter Calls - In my spiritual tradition, and many others, there are angels, guardians or powers that guide certain aspects of Creation. They are part of Divinity, sort of like roles we all play in our lives of mother, sister, teacher, employee, etc. In most Western traditions, these are Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit, and they are associated with the compass directions. Calling on them to be present at your wedding simply means you want all of Creation to witness and bless your union.
There are many ways to invite these aspects of Divinity. I have some poems that can be read, or candles an be silently lit with prayerful intention. It's up to you.
Handfasting - This is a very old ceremony of unity. I describe it in detail elsewhere on my web site. It is performed in both non-Christian and Catholic ceremonies. You may remember it from the movie, Braveheart. It can be very moving.
Cakes & Ale - This is a fancy way of saying food and drink. Much like the Christian sacrament of Communion or Eucharist, this is a way to bring Divinity directly into your bodies through blessed food and drink. The food and drink can take any shape you want, such as cookies and puch, or it can be bread and wine. It's up to you.
This is a truly religious rite that is similar in many traditions, so if you are not particularly religious, or do not want your wedding to seem overly so, you probably would not be comfortable doing this. Even non-Chrisitians I have married have felt uncomfortable with revealing their faith so overtly during what is commonly thought of as a public ceremony, but I still offer it to all my couples. Once again I must say, it's really up to you.
Please contact me if you have ANY questions whatsoever. I enjoy theological dialogue and hold nothing against any religion that follows a Path of Light. Email me, GoogleTalk me, or call me anytime. I will happily answer your questions to the best of my ability :-)
No Hard Feelings...
So you look through my site and you decide that, for whatever, reason, you'd rather go with someone else. I understand. Please don't just ignore me, however, especially if I've sent you an email. Yes, this is a business (as well as a delight!) but I am a real person, and I deserve to know that you have decided to go with someone else. Thanks!
I am a member of the American Association of Wedding Officiants. We have a free referral service. North Carolina is part of "Region 4".
I also have a list of Triangle area independent clergy. They are great people from many different spiritual traditions. Please let them know you got their name from me.
Wedding Planning with "Dress Up Your Wedding"
