Weddings, Vow Renewals, Handfastings, and
Planning Resources

AS OF AUGUST 25, 2011, REVEREND SU IS ONLY AVAILABLE TO PERFORM WEDDINGS THAT TAKE PLACE BETWEEN JUNE 10 AND AUGUST 10.

Congratulations on your engagement!

Merry meet ~ Reverend Su "Windsong" Leone is a duly ordained New Age Wiccan minister with a foundation in early Christian teachings. She is also an experienced Wedding Officiant, having performed over five dozen weddings. She can help you craft the perfect ceremony for your perfect day!

Changing Your Name • Civil Union Info • Parts of a Ceremony
Souvenir Marriage Certificates • The Purposeful Rehearsal

Getting Your Marriage License

In North Carolina, a marriage license is required if you are an unmarried man and an unmarried woman who are not first cousins or closer relations who wish to become legally married.

Both parties must appear in person with a driver's license and Social Security card as proof of both age and identity. If you don't have one of those, ask your local Register of Deeds what you can bring instead. There are special considerations if you are younger than 21 or have been previously divorced. If for some reason one of you cannot appear in person, please read the NC law on proxy marriage in General Statute 51, Article 2, Section 8.2.

You can download the 2009 Wake County marriage license brochure here. Or follow these hyperlinks to the Wake County ROD or Durham County ROD. Most urban counties allow you to "apply" online. But that doesn't mean you don't have to appear in person! Oh, and you don't have to be a North Carolina resident to get a marriage certificate in any NC county.

Also, you must bring $60 cash with you, and the license in only good for two months. I used to gripe about the sixty bucks until I found out that half of it goes to a fund for preventing domestic violence. That's pretty cool.

For information on changing your name after a legal wedding, try http://missnowmrs.com/ It will appear in a new window.

For information of creating a legal civil union when legal "marriage" is not available, please see this document from Family LLC. It will appear in a new window.

The Wedding Ceremony

There are many parts to a marriage ceremony. These parts are called the wedding ceremony order. Many of them can be included in a non-legal handfasting, vow renewal or commitment ceremony as well. The portions in bold are the only portions required for a legal ceremony in North Carolina...there are only three!

Processional (silently or with a song)
Statement of Intent (tells why are we gathered here)
Publishing the Banns ("speak now...")
Statement of Free Consent and Fidelity ("do you take this man...")
Presentation or Bride and/or Groom by Family or Friends ("who gives this... to be married?")
Presentation of Unity Symbols (the couple or the mothers can present condles, sands, waters, etc. now or later. If it's the moms, do it now so they can just enjoy the rest of the service!)
Light Candle(s) for Ancestors and/or Absent Loved Ones
Special Readings (I have a full-text library of wedding readings!)
Special Songs
Homily or Short Sermon (sometimes known as the Admonition of the Couple. My choices are all short.)
Statement of Faith (I have a non-denominational creed available for this.)
Vows to the Children
Vows of the Partners
Ring Exchange (with or without an introduction or blessing, and there are LOTS more options for this)
Other Symbols of Unity: Mingle different colored sands, waters, or beverages; Unity Candle; Family Unity Candle; Share Clear Water; Lasso; Handfasting, or whatever you can imagine!
Heritage Prayer ("bestow upon this couple... children...", there is also one that says please do not grant us children until we're ready!)
Charge of the Congregation ("will you help them in their promises?")
Pronouncement ("I now pronounce you...")
Prayers for the Newlyweds
Passing of the Peace (everyone in attendance shakes hands with or hugs the people nearby)
Benediction (final blessing)
Broom Jumping (luck, fertility and sharing of household tasks)
First Kiss! (should this be marked as required? LOL)
Recessional (silently or with a song, if no music, everyone claps!)

Here's a basic non-religious ceremony with a few options.

New Age portions of a wedding or handfasting service include: Cleansing the Space, Creating Sacred Circle Space, Honoring the Quarters, and Cakes and Ale. These rites can be included before or after the Statement of Intent. Here's a description of these New Age Wiccan options.

Here is a custom ceremony planning worksheet you can download! It is a Word form, so you can make some of your choices and bring it with you to your consultation with me to see the full text of each option. (If it tells you that it is password protected, just click "Read Only" and save it with a new file name.)

Souvenir Certificates

At the end of your ceremony, there's a lot of paperwork to fill out. It actually involves only the witness and the officiant - since bride and groom have already signed it when they got the license - and takes about 10 minutes, but many couples ask their photographer to document the "signing." After all, it is absolutely just as momentous in the couple's life as the signing of the Declaration of Independence was in 1774!

But the couple will never see that document again unless they pay for a certified copy. Which, ladies and gentlemen, you will need in order to legally change your name. Most places return it, but PayPal (which is really a bank!) will not, so be prepared to purchase at least one copy of your certificate. It's always good to have on in your safety deposit box or fireproof safe, just in case.

Have you seen a legal marriage certificate? It's a typewritten bureaucratic form. Not suitable for displaying proudly at all! Neither is the souvenir certificate they fold into thirds and stick in your envelope along with your marriage license. Which is why I have developed my own. (Yes, I've always been an overachiever! LOL) Your choice of a "souvenir certificate" is part of my fee. Just let me know which one you like!

*Souvenir certificate choices*
Bronze Scroll	Hearts


Halloween	Celtic Ribbon


Celtic Hearts	Winter


Autumn	Celtic Bands


Morning Glories	Love Doves

The Rehearsal

These days, a rehearsal is not always necessary. BUT if you are including anyone in your wedding besides the bride, groom and minister, you should at least get together to go through the ceremony. I always give my couples a digital copy of the entire ceremony for this purpose.

If you are including children - have a rehearsal with everybody! That way, they're used to seeing a zillion people up there at the altar (or what have you) and know to whom to walk. The last thing you want on your wedding day is a scared, confused kid.

I like to be at rehearsals, but I charge for it because it's always on a different day than the ceremony. If I have a rehearsal, I can't do a wedding, and this is how I make my living, so it only seems fair. But like I said, I give my couples the script so I'm really just there to help you think of things you may not have thought of.

Start with everyone up front, practice the recessional, then the processional, then the ceremony.

Always bring the ceremony accessories you intend to use (bouquet, rings, candles, sands, etc.) - or dummy props the same size - so you know what to do and where set stuff and when to hand stuff to whom. Believe me, you don't want to be confused up there either! LOL

I'm generally silly yet professional at the rehearsal, so be prepared ;-)